(read the following in a raspy, Peter-Falk-does-Columbo-esque voice with a highly exaggerated American accent)
"Dammit, we don't have time! This is the worst case of Bone-itis I've ever seen. We need to perform a full skeletal lavage. I will be removing the skellington through the nasal cavity for the purposes of the lavage. Nurse Tibia, get me a bone-saw, stat!"
"Doctor Skellington, the patient has sustained a GSW to the teeth. What is your plan of action?"
"We can't risk his Bone-itis flaring up again. I need to remove the entire skellington via the rectum. Book OR 1, stat."
"But Doctor... are you even qualified to do that?"
"I have a double doctorate in Skeletal Proctological Surgery, of course I'm qualified you moron!!"
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| Dr. Skellington's emergency Skeletal Proctology field kit. |
***
Stay tuned for the pilot episode of the upcoming Dr. Skellington comedy radio show.
***
P.S. This the kind of thing that happens when you watch one too many episodes of Grey's Anatomy.
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